Archive for the ‘abuse’ Category

Standing up to abusers

Monday, August 2nd, 2010

handcuffs


Way to go Judy Jackie Glass, who recently told O.J. Simpson that he wasn’t above the law! She sent a very clear message saying, “When I tell you Mr. Simpson there are conditions and there are rules. Anything like this happens in the future …you’ll be back locked up in Clark County Detention Center.”Judge Glass sent a very clear message that O.J. wasn’t above the law and he would, in her court, be held accountable to the consequences of his behavior. This was a great move on Judge Glass part to end violence in our society. The more often we can send messages to abusers that they aren’t above the law and their misbehavior will receive firm consequences the safer our society will be.

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Returning to their Abusers

Monday, July 12th, 2010

sad woman

On average, abused women are returning to their abuser seven times before leaving them for good. Why is this happening? Many will say because the victim will not stand up for herself, or on a subconscious level, she likes being a victim.

The truth is that her community is failing her. Many of these women are ending up homeless on the street, or having their abuser take her children from her, or have extreme religious, social and money pressures to go back and make it work. These women don’t have a safety net they can rely on, little opportunity to earn enough to support her family, and little or no training on how to stand on her own.

Until society stops brushing her off to the side, blaming her and becoming a community where she and her family can find redemption, the spiraling social problems that come from this will continue.

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Are You Involved with a Black Widow?

Monday, July 5th, 2010

Being a victim of domestic violence, and having suffered thirteen years of fear, violence and anguish, you can image I was skeptical the first time a man told me he had been a victim of domestic violence also. I thought it was a sick joke, a way of making fun of my pain. The more the fellow insisted that he understood how I felt, the more I suspected he was giving me a pickup line. It wasn’t until he showed me the scars on his bald head that I believed him.

He informed me that his ex-wife had thrown pots and pans at him, dug her fingernails in his scalp until he bled and screamed at him continuously. He didn’t know what to do. He was a big strong guy who did not believe in hitting a woman. He felt trapped by her episodes.

In Concord, New Hampshire, 35 percent of domestic assault arrests are of women (1). Some stats suggest that gay, bi, and trans men experience domestic violence close to the same rate as heterosexual women, one in four. The man I met had fallen prey to the black-widow syndrome. This is where a woman who has been abused by men decides she’s had enough of being treated poorly and all men must pay. Often these women will search for their target in the “nice” man who would never strike a woman back. At the start of the relationship she is very kind and sweet, thus luring the man in, but once there is security the nightmare begins.

For the rest of the article: www.thefatherlife.com/articles/2007/38/

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Great Domestic Violence Movie

Monday, June 28th, 2010

Provoked is an awesome movie that shows the complexities of domestic violence. It’s about a Punjabi housewife in London who suffers under her husband’s brutality for years and what the affects of violence are upon her. The movie also shows how a Guerilla Fighter, in this case a South Asian social worker, can have a dramatic effect not only for Kiranjit Ahluwaltia, the main character’s life, but also affecting the law and many other victims’ lives after that. This moving story is based on a true story. What surprised me, but shouldn’t, was how much this story resembled my own even though I am from a very different ethnic group, social status, and life situation. It goes to show that abuse, is abuse, is abuse. Watch Provoked and see an interesting insight into domestic violence.

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10 Red Flags of an Unhealthy Relationship

Monday, June 21st, 2010

10 Red Flags of an Unhealthy Relationship

According to a 2005 Department of Justice survey, more than 2 million Americans were victimized by someone they know (National Crimes of Violence Survey, http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/cvus05.pdf). Learning to detect relationship red flags and respond healthily is a valuable skill that can help empower people and give them more knowledge to proceed in relationships.

Identifying red flags requires that you know what signs to look for and what they could mean to a relationship. “One of the best ways to know if a behavior is a problem is to trust your instincts and to learn about abusive techniques,” says Dr. Kevin Skinner, Ph.D., president of Growth Climate. The following red flags are common traits of an unhealthy relationship:

1. Blamer — Takes No Responsibility — An individual who makes his or her problems out to always be someone else’s fault and consistently portrays him or herself as the victim should be considered a possible source of trouble.

2. Isolation — A lot of abusers like to keep their victims isolated from outside influences and resources.

3. Jealousy — Abusers often accuse their victim of not being faithful. Some will even become upset if the victim talk to his or her friends or family too much.

4. Toot Their Own Horn — These types of people look for opportunities to let their importance be known. They consider themselves “one-of-a-kind,” more special or better than others.

5. Put Others on the Defensive — When an abuser feels threatened, a favorite tool of defense is a distracting or overbearing response, such as becoming hypercritical, sarcastic, angry and/or silent.

For the rest of the article www.redemptivecommunity.com/site/?page_id=122

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