Excerpt from Silent Cries: A Woman’s Journey to Freedom

In the afternoon, as the quiet of the old house wrapped around her, she thought she would do the assignment that Judy had requested. Make a list of the problems she had with Brad. Once she got started it began to flow from her pen.

1) I lose a sense of identity with him around.2) He often engages in revenge, going for where it hurts.3) Physical Abuse—hitting, throwing things, breaking things.4) Verbal Abuse—name calling—sometimes really crude ones.5) Spiritual Abuse—“I am the man and the leader of the home, therefore you will do as I say.”6) Crazy Making—He says something then denies saying it.7) No Empathy—even in the process of trying to get back together with me, he does not consider my feelings or my concerns, much less my fears.8) Controlling—I’ve never known how much money we have. I can’t do anything without his permission. I can’t even choose what kind of milk to buy.9) Involves the children with our problems.10) Doesn’t take ownership for his mistakes or issues.11) Blames me for all our problems.12) Drains my spirit when I’m around him.13) Doesn’t trust me—constantly accuses me of having affairs, etc.14) Doesn’t see me for who I am.15) He often changes the “rules” of our relationship.16) Chauvinistic—thinking a man should be served by women.17) Image focused, so worried how he appears to others.18) Has to get his way in everything all the time no matter how small. It is as though “getting his way” is more important than the issue itself.19) Unable to bond. He has never connected emotionally with me.20) He is not safe to be around. I never know what he will do or when. Very unpredictable.Why in the heck had she stayed with that man!? By leaving him, she had chosen happiness. It had to be her choice, and she had made it. Now she was on her own. If she turned back, then she’d be returning to where she’d been. She had heard that most women who leave their abusive husbands go back. She prayed not to be one of them. She couldn’t do this alone with five kids, but with God, maybe she would be successful—one moment at a time. She walked over to her window and looked out at the swing set. As she watched the swing move slightly in the wind, she thought that maybe with the knowledge she had gained, she could go out and serve others. Now if she could get over the next couple of hurdles, she’d be ready.