a. Loneliness

b. Hurried marriage c. Incompatibility d. Mental instability (self, other person, or both) e. Too many unresolved issues from a previous marriage f. Lack of self-esteem g. Feeling as though they need a parent for their kids h. Financial troubles i. A need for the societal acceptance of being married j. Fear of being alone k. Fear of getting to know themselves

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When a divorce occurs, there is a restructuring of the power in a family. In many instances, children will be given extra responsibility simply because a single parent cannot accomplish all the ordinary tasks alone. In other instances, one parent will attempt to take away any power or influence his or her ex-spouse has on the children. This parent will tell the children that they don’t have to obey their other parent, or the parent will undermine any authority the other parent tries to use in discipline. Even if this doesn’t happen, there’s the challenge of a new person coming into the family. Everyone has to figure out and accept the role of this new person. The struggle, power, and reconstruction of the operation of the family can lead to many conflicts.

Children are the number one reason why remarriages don’t last. Children often sabotage their parent’s new marriage. Children have many reasons for doing this. Here is a partial list: a. Dislike for the new stepparent. b. Erosion of hope that their natural parents will get back together. c. Realization that there is power in pitting one parent against the other. d. Jealousy of the new stepparent. e. Dislike of being parented by a stranger. d. Need for attention. Fights over how to parent the children can lead to many embittered feelings. Couples encounter problems when the physical parent won’t allow discipline to occur at all, or when stepparents insist on taking on the parenting role too soon. Other potentially hostile problems can occur when there is a blending of two sets of children. Favoritism can have a caustic underlying effect on the whole family structure.